Sunday, 18 October 2015

Tinder Conversations

I told him I went to a concert Friday night and he replied "I went to a concert too Friday night". My heart jumped as my fingers typed "Little Dragon?" And "Yes" was all he ever said.

Saturday, 17 October 2015

Little Dragon Cape Town Concert

First of all, I am exhausted. Can you imagine dancing for five hours straight? Can you? It was a fucking epic MOVIE!!! Secondly I had no idea South Africa had such amazing music, The two opening acts killed it and to think I had no idea these people existed before last night makes me feel like I've been oblivious to how awesome this country actually is.

90% of me was having a blast but the other 10% was spent wondering where the hell is Yukimi and the band but when they finally came out, it was totally worth the wait. That is when the movie began.... Ahhhhhhh....... I've been to a lot of concerts..... Rihanna, Maxwell, John Legend, Pharrell but watching Little Dragon live took me to a whole nother level of musical artistry. The lights, sound, vocals, dances and that BASS..... That fucking BASS!!!! Felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest, it was awesome!!!

They performed my all-time fave of theirs "CONSTANT SURPRISES" and I died. Yukimi is a beast on stage and to think that she is pregnant and killing it like that is just mind blowing..... Serious life goals here. The energy was amazing, every move she made, the crowd would follow simultaneously and being there with the cutest bestest friend anyone could ask for (Ulfah 🐣) took the levels of epicness even higher. What a night, What a movie, What an experience!!!

Monday, 5 October 2015

This Is For You.

Dear friend 

I know you will never admit this but I know you love me. You always have but I'm selfish. I know you'll never fall out of love with me and yet I want you around because I don't want to be alone. I could date you because I know you could take care of me in every way. You are my best friend so I know I wouldn't be bored and I know I could grow to love you but it wouldn't be the real kinda love you know. I would lie to myself and say "I'm happy, he loves me and that's all I've ever wanted" but that would be selfish to you and well to...



So she walks up the same street she has been taking since the beginning of the year with her best friend Leon. She tells Leon a joke and laughs out loud and clearly Leon gave her one of those sympathetic laughs, not getting the joke. He gets the joke and doesn’t get why her best friend is not cracking up. He feels bad and wonders should he not go over to her and assure her that she is funny. His low on courage, he wonders if she turned around would she find his gaze charming or get weird stalker vibes. 

She sees a dark shadow behind her it is attached to an awkward face that looks away from her eyes. She smiles to herself as Leon’s words become a blur. She thinks what if that guy is stalking me? that would be nice. Unless if his a serial killer and loves all his victims so much that he saves them by slicing them up open, shit stop it that sounds horrible. You are evil, but it would make him interesting, sort of. 

She crosses slightly hoping his still following but because she’s scared to get run over, she stays focussed. Knowing she’s safe, she turns around and their eyes meet. Slowly she enjoys the thought of being stalked by this mysterious boy. Leon asks why is she smiling? she tells Leon about the joy of the thought of being stalked by that guy. Leon simply replies you’re crazy. 

His heart stops when their eyes lock, he panics she’s gonna go to class and I’ll never see her again. Leon hurries up the pace and as she turns her head the mysterious boy is not there, what if he gave up she thinks. I need a plan, oh yes, thank you mind. Cigarettes!!! “Leon can I smoke quickly before class?” Leon agrees but internally disagrees with her addiction. She chants please come. 

He speeds up knowing she’s not there but also knowing he can’t just turn around. She tries to act normal while cursing her imaginative brain. She lights her cigarette and looks up and there he is. She smiles as their eyes meet, he looks confused. He is panicking, what’s going to be my opening line shit, work brain, work. Fuck I’m here, she’s looking at me, probably thinks I’m a stalker. I open my mouth “can we share?” she looks confused and I point to the cigarette. She hands it over I smoke. 

Oh wow this is a good sign, don’t mess it up. Ahhhh he looks so perfect and cool and pale. Shit I’m staring, that’s not keeping it cool girl, shit you blew it. Shit I’m finishing her cigarettes, give it back asshole. I give it to her, she places her fingers on top of mine and they stay there. I can feel a calming heat all over my body, it’s amazing. I want to move my hand but I can’t. Why is he looking at it and why is he so perfect. Oh shit my nails look horrible. Look at me. 

I’m scared of this, if I look at her, I’ve lost all power and what scares me the most is that I want to. Finally I look and I can see myself giving up everything for her. She is everything. 

Oh my God, he is everything. 

I’m scared to end this moment, no this cant end. Uhhhhmmm “so I’m gonna give you my number. If you want it, I mean” her voice is amazing, oh shit where’s mine. Uhhhhhm uhhhhm, “yes, please. I’d love…. I’d like to have your number”. I have to draw my eyes away from his but I hope it doesn’t offend him.

I write my number down and realize Leon is still there, shit class. I don’t want to go. 

She just gave you the key, for everything. 

No she can’t leave now, stop it she probably has a class.

I try to act cool while examining his face, “I have to go” he touches my hand. 

I plead for this moment to last longer but utter “talk soon”.

Saturday, 26 September 2015

About Last Night with Pharrell Williams

As I was preparing my outfit for the Pharrell Concert I started freaking out. I started to reminisce to the younger me who was obsessed with this man and I thought she would want present me to look perfect for this night.

People don't get why I'm such a super fan and this is how I explain it. I've been there. I've been there since Sk8tr boy P, N.E.R.D, The Neptunes and Happy... Pharrell's music has been a constant part of my life for years and he was one of the artist who showed me that not fitting in is actually pretty amazing.... #IAmOTHER

So I decided to wear all white to represent the marriage of epic talent + tireless dedication from me lol becoming a reality. The show was just BEYOND.... I don't know. It made me feel like my spirit was experiencing it more than I was and that feeling was fucking amazing!!!

I've seen him, now the next step is to meet him!!! Ahhhhhhhh #lifegoals

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Dear Diary: Some Minds Are Better Kept Apart

After gourmet Italian pizza, wine, and a gigantic oka pipe, it's just insane. I can't describe it. When I talk to him, it's like I'm talking to myself and its fucked up!!!

Monday, 14 September 2015

At One with Nature: Beautiful but Deadly!!!

Today was a movie!!! I know I always say that but how would you describe a fantastically (made-up word) magically beautiful day such as this??? When i suggested that we should take the red bus tour to our group of friends i could have never expected such a wonderful day!!!

Of course the road to this trip wasn't as smooth as the bus ride:

1. The crew turned from being a party of ten to being a trio, I of course was quite happy with this change of events.... (anti-social) even though they are technically my friends, I just flourish more in smaller groups of people!!!

2. Ulfah a.k.a Mushroom princess with the fringe, couldn't find my flat even though she has been there countless times before and therefor we were slightly late... boooh Ulfah and... WOW only two things didn't go according to plan!!! That's a first in my life, I think I'm having a moment... But alls well that ends with coffee... Yaaaasss!!!

Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden
(Fairy Heaven) 

Running through the six with my woes... #Drake #WordsToLiveBy
Arhan: A chic hat. Especially If you are having a bad hair day!!!
Tina: A top that goes all the way up to your neck. Open top bus duh... (I forgot).
Ulfah: Red Lipstick, gotta be ready for the cuties!!! 

Hout Bay Harbor 
(Best Seafood of My LIFE!!!)

Table Mountain, I see you... Photobomb much!!!

5 seconds before I almost DIED!!!
(that moment when my life flashed In front of my eyes, captured on the video below)

And that's how i got the title for this post... Totally Fitting!!!

How could I not trip with all that negative energy (Ulfah) behind me...
(also conveniently captured on the picture below)

But then again I've always been clumsy... Nope its her!!!

Sunday, 13 September 2015

Depressed but Hopeful!!!

Always know that when you give yourself to someone, they take a part of who you are.
Now go to sleep my little one because they will never have your entirety.
Only God has your entirety and He loves it unconditionally.

-Tina Tshangela

Thursday, 20 August 2015


So a friend of mine showed me one of Russel Brand's videos on YouTube and already I was dreading the terribly confusing British humour I was about to seat through...

But as soon as the video started, my jaw dropped as Russell began to share his views on religion and the world. Each point he made was followed by an intellectual fact mixed with a rare form of honesty that is founded by individualism.

Russell's honesty was based purely on the way he saw the world, yes he acknowledged worldly factors such as the media, pop culture and general stereo types but him acknowledging these factors still did not influence his honest opinions on the world.

His sense of self-acknowledgement and self-truth made me view him as this new age oracle who's mind had supassed all of the capitalist bullshit that has been programmed in our brain. I saw him as this Messiah of the truth when in fact what he has, we all have too. 

As humans we all have the ability to be honest and there is a difference between honesty and bring critical. Do not criticise and be hateful, just be honest In a way that you can only be. Show the world how you analyze things, how your mind works, what brings out which emotions in you.

Think of honesty as a skill that you keep on working on, aiming to reach your maximum ability. When you start having an unwavering honest view of the world, you start being honest with yourself and when you become honest with yourself, you give yourself the rare opportunity of knowing who you really are.

-Tina Tshangela 

It never rains but it pours... When reality hits!!!

And reality hit at the most random of times. After having another fight with my ex boyfriend.

On again, Off again. Further proving that we were not meant for each other. Reality Hit.

Reality hit so hard that it left me feeling numb and lifeless. I felt like a zombie, just a body without a soul.

Reality greedily snatched all of my emotions and left me feeling empty.

I smoked a cigarrette and it calmed me down but as I took the last drag the calm left like the disappearing smoke before me... With a deepening depression I realized that the cigarrette gave me a temporary emotion... A borrowed one.

I realized the world that we live in is built on temporary emotions. The "right now" emotions. The "what feels good is good" emotions. But they are not real.

Revelations started to unveil as I thought of the last time I felt something real. Real emotions. Emotions that don't need enhancers. Emotions that you can feel at 3am in the morning when you wake up suddenly.

Emotions that brought over-whelming emotions, that my silly, greedy and weak humanity could not handle and started running away from.

I'm exhausted from running. God I'm done fighting.

-Tina Tshangela 

Sunday, 1 February 2015

College Dorm Life....... #FreakingOUT

Its been a while since i last posted and i am so super sorry..... life sort of happened and by life i mean a lot of life happened. i wont dwell too much on it though as one of my 2015 new year's resolutions is to not dwell on the past but instead focus on the future.... you know all that "New Year, New Me" stuff!!! oh btw Happy New Year lol

So much change has been happening to me recently but the biggest one is the fact that i finally moved out of the apartment that i was living in with my big brother and sister and now i finally live in a college dorm like a normal college student.

its my 3rd year as a fashion design student so yes some of you might think its your last year why even bother? and yes thats true but its my 3rd year which means more work, more stressing and more hecticness so living closer to my campus will be such a relief. last year i had to take 3 busses to get to and from Uni and now i'm like 10 minutes away soooo yeah life is feeling pretty awesome.

sorry i have no pictures in this post but i promise i will have some in my next one, hopefully of my dorm room AND some deeds on my unknown roommate who is giving me major anxiety because i am praying that she will be an angelic doll rather than a psycho bitch..... wish me luck, fingers crossed!!!